me at age 13: ugh pet names are so lame lmfao I never wanna be called “baby” gross lol just call me my name thanks
me now: oh my ANGEL!!! my sweetheart my love! 💘😔💕💖😤💓 my honey, my baby! the love of my life!!!! 💝💗😖💞 my dearest!! my beloved, my heart, my cutie pie!!!!! 🤧💘💓
Lean into the funny idiot archetype so that when you’re unexpectedly hypercompetent at something they give you The Look where you can see them reexamine their entire perception of you in confusion, respect and no small amount of fear, and when you keep playing funny idiot they will be forever wary of you. Let them find out, incidentally, that the jester keeps a knife under his hat, and never figure out how to deal with that because they won’t abandon their boxes.
staunchly against toddlers being given phones. stop that. give them little stuffed animals to play pretend with. fucking talk to them for a second even. stop giving them your phone. stop giving kids phones and ipads. stop it.
